The Burqa: Pro's and Con's

Here are some Pro's and Con's of the burqa. 


- If your husband has 15 other wives (he's a feminist after all) and is not giving you attention you can always turn to penguins who will accept you as one of their own. 

- You can cook a whole meal and not have to share it with your husband's 15 other wives. 

- In cold weather it keeps you warm. 

- In hot weather it keeps you inside. For example: In Saudi Arabia a woman is not allowed to leave her home without a male guardian. Contrary to the belief of the devilish West, this is not some misogynistic, anachronistic tradition but a security measure in case a woman faints. The male can then quickly take her back home before the ambulance arrives and medics attempt to remove the burqa in order to restore the unconscious, modest female, thereby offending her modesty. 

- The burqa really brings out your eyes. 

- You are protected from the gaze of all males. But you can gaze all you like! ;)

- You can take part in any number of fight clubs and nobody will ever know. (There's only so much make-up can do for bruises.)

- Since no man has ever gazed at your face or your body, the night of your wedding will be extra special. And in case your husband takes you to a fight club, nobody will ever find out. 

- Hiding in shadows is very easy, especially in your own home (which strangely you seem to be doing very often these days!)

- Plenty of space for cats and other small pets. 

- You don't have to wear it at home. 


- You will never ever be cat-called. 

- Airport security can be a pain. 

- The only people who stare at you are racists and Muslimophobes. 

- Children sometimes think you are an appropriate place to hide. 

- You are often mistaken for a tent by your husband. This doesn't prevent him from making love to your lifeless body. 


These are just some of the pro's and con's of the burqa. 

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