The Future

It is the year 2156. The world is divided between those who believe in the existence of open-toed sandals and those who don't because they think it is a cover-up by the US government. Goats no longer exist, replaced by humanoid forms that sing the national anthem of Rwanda, and eat only spinach. The Middle East is a crucible of strife and suffering because somebody in the year 2045 left a gate open, convinced, as he said, in the 'peace loving forces of radical Islam that will liberate the world from Western Capitalism.' India is split down the centre: in the South live the liberals who go for music festivals, in the North, the conservatives who take monthly pilgrimages to the LoC, where they make faces at the people across the border. Pakistan is finally under the control of dust mites who have turned the country into a secular, pluralistic, prosperous and equal country, something that the humans could never do. 
The United States of America, once the most powerful nation in the world, has migrated to Mars, and has now become the most powerful nation in the solar system. When they left Earth, they left all the millennials behind, which some say was the reason for their interplanetary success. The millennials are still fighting against the depiction of sexy women in film and video games. 
In England, the Queen finally died. She was 134 years old. At some point her body decided it couldn't look any older and bioengineered itself to look like a Tele Tubby. 
The iPhone in its 157th avatar can cook you a meal and do the tango while you eat. Later it will suck your cock for free (version for females also available). If you throw the iPhone at your enemy it will boomerang back towards you and give you a quote from a famous pacifist combined with a reminder, such as, 'Fighting is for suckers, peace is for you because you need to buy a floor cleaner tomorrow from Costco,' or 'Ten steps towards war is ten steps backwards for humanity, and speaking of backwards, google that chick from Game of Thrones Season 120.' 
Science has reached great heights by inventing a cure for sadness called 'Reality Check'. It works by sending you somebody smart to explain to you how useless you are, hence making you understand that wallowing in self-pity and misery about things you can't control is stupid. It guaranteed by science, that you will then stand up, abandon your religion, quit your stupid job at an ad agency, and start a company that rescues abandoned animals. In one month, you will be happier. 
Religion on the other hand is struggling. Science has taken over so much of the magisteria of religion that religion has no more role in modern life. The only thing religion lays claim over now are holy scents such as camphor and myrrh which science agreed religion can have. In the words of science, 'You can keep that. Enjoy.' 
In the year 2019, the people of North Korea were so fed up with their leader that they clung together to form a gigantic sphere and ran him over. They knew that the only way to kill a massive human ball was to form one even bigger. Soon after North Korea became just 'North' and began to manufacture pamphlets on how to stay alive when one person is eating all the food in your country. 
Overall, the world is a much more peaceful and satisfied place, mainly because people don't have to brush their teeth in the morning as it is taken care of by personal robot butlers. 

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