A local politician today, expressed his gratitude to Prime Minister Narendra Modi for the opportunity to begin hoarding the new 2000 rupee note, as he said they were very colourful and attractive. "Where I live, the landscape is dull and dusty and the old notes just weren't cutting it for me in terms of aesthetics and attractiveness," he told some bored reporters who he had invited for a meal. "The rooms in which I had hoarded old notes were dull and dreary - especially that mucus green 500 note. Good riddance to that pink 1000 note also - they were beginning to get mouldy."
The new purple 2000 rupee note, he pointed out, matched perfectly his curtains and carpet, which were both made up of the new 2000 rupee note. "The kids love this new colour and shape. They jump around and play Note Ban, a game I invented, where we pick up bricks of the new note – 1 lakh each – and laugh hysterically. Then we throw it at each other and scream," he said.
Asked if the demonetization had affected him in any way, the politician said crossly, "Didn't I just explain to you the change in colour palette in my house?"
What did he do with all the other notes? "We burnt them. It was fun."
But wasn't he affected by losing all that money? "Is this some kind of joke? Look how much money I make. Listen, if I had 200 crores of cash in my house, how long do you think it'll take to make up that money? A year maximum. Till then, I'll forego that Range Rover for my 2 year old turtle."
He added, "Thank you Mr. Prime Minister. We were getting a bit bored by all this money but now you have given us purpose. The new is always more exciting for human beings, and new notes are no exception. Besides, 2000 rupee notes take up less space than the equivalent in 1000's and 500's so there's that. All in all, excellent idea. Also, by the way, my driver's mother stood in a queue for 40 hours in her village despite suffering from arthritis and dementia because there's only one bank there. But hey, she had to give in her 3000 rupees of black money that she had saved up for 3 years, the rotten criminal. Awesome bro!"
With these triumphant words, the politician stripped down to his underclothes and charged into his money room where he dove head first into a wall of 2000 rupee notes, purple and towering.